Usually I find that because of my overly analytical nature and my intense desire for personal development, I see every bump in the road as a sign that this is an area I have to work on, and there have been a number of bumps in the road. But I don’t want to talk about those today. I want to talk about the whole idea of personal development.
You see, the problem with personal development, at least the way I see it, is that no matter how I phrase it, it always has the implication that I am not good enough, smart enough, or quite simply, that I am not enough. When one is always focusing on getting better, it is often easy to miss out on the progress you have made thus far.
Now, I am not advocating an end to personal progress! I just think that it is really important for us to find peace with where we are, who we are. I want to analogize this, not to a journey, because that implies a fixed destination, but more to an exploration. When we are exploring, we are always open to digressions, deviations and detours. I like that a lot.
I have a confession. I was the hiker who always wanted to stop halfway to check out the view. Honestly, I was most likely just out of breath or too tired or lazy and unmotivated to keep moving at a constant speed, but I think this is where I developed my attitude toward life.
When you stop half-way up a mountain (and yes, I did climb a mountain once, just ask my sister, she was there! [okay, it wasn’t a HUGE mountain, but it is still a mountain!]). Anyway, when you stop half-way up a mountain to ‘look around,’ you not only get to see how beautiful everything is around you, but you also get to see how far you have come. You get to see the bottom, where you started, make note of every rock you held onto for support, every bush that flew back to smack you in the face when the person in front of you forgot you were behind her, and the faint markings of the path that your feet have made on the way up.
Maybe for some people, stopping halfway makes them lose their momentum. I’ve heard that if you take your eye off the prize for even a moment, your progress is not only slowed but you also risk losing sight of where you are going. But, I think that sometimes we are so focused on where we need to be that we miss seeing not only how far we’ve come, but how beautiful the view is from where we are.
Today, I am celebrating my rocks and my paths. Last week, while writing my week-long comprehensive exam, I was inspired by all the support that was poured out to me as I struggled with exhaustion, rejection and discouragement. Every single person who reached out to me was a rock that I was able to hang on to and pull myself back up. I am so very grateful for all of you, for the mini-oranges, for the chocolate wishes, for the constant good thoughts and for the gentle and sometimes not so gentle pushing.
This week, I have had the opportunity to take a look at the faint path that I have worn across the landscape. I have been able to take the time to envision the not only the often jagged path that I have wandered, but the strengths I have gained along the way. I am not the same shy and awkward woman who began this exploratory journey all those years ago. But, I am glad that she took the risk and just started walking. And I think I owe it to her and to all of you to take a bit of time to enjoy the view. Maybe it is these stopping points, these new ‘view-points’ or ‘points of view’ that fuel us for the next leg of the journey, wherever that may lead us. I hope so, because I am looking forward to the next view-point already!
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