Project Open Heart

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it is that I have to offer a man. I am not actively dating and haven’t dated since my move to the big city almost six years ago, so even thinking along these lines is big news. BIG. But, rather than just run out and accost the first man who I see, I thought I should set out a plan for re-entering the dating world. My good friend…who I affectionately call ‘Lamb Chop,’ or at least I do in my head, but that’s a whole other storey…well, she is calling my plan ‘Project Open Heart.’ I like it.

But deciding to take that first step out into the very frightening world of dating is, for me, a step that takes a lot of preparation. So, Step One has been to enter the world in which dating is a possibility. I have seen little more than my laptop screen in the last four months (who am I kidding, 6 years) and I decided that it was time to at least sit in a place where I can look over the top of my laptop screen and see the world. So, I’ve taken to working in libraries and coffee shops and I have to say that the view is much nicer. I am starting to feel a connection to this strange new world, and I think I like it.

So, you might think that Step Two would be to start to make eye contact with some potential dater, maybe even strike up a flirtatious conversation or two. But, alas, you would be wrong. We can’t take things too quickly, you know. It’s like starting an exercise program. The first step is to take a tour of the gym. Step Two, get a fitness assessment. Step Three, do some gentle stretching. Step Four, is a bit of warm up and then and only then, can you safely begin that wonderful journey to fitness. Step One has been the ‘tour,’ entering the world again and opening my eyes (and heart) to that world. Step Two, bring it on!

The Assessment:

Now my previously mentioned friend and project manager of Project Open Heart assures me that I have a lot to offer in the dating realm, that I am fit to exercise, if you are still following the gym metaphor. Now, it isn’t that I don’t trust her completely and fully in most things, but frankly, she is just too kind and positive to be totally believable in this case. Sorry, Lamby, but I have to rely on my own assessment this time.

So, Step Two is all about determining what I have to offer, my marketability, if you will. And frankly, it isn’t pretty. I think I could fit in a date on the first and third Sunday of every month, as long as it doesn’t fall immediately after a midterm, final exam, or within two weeks of a potential lecture, conference presentation or postdoc application deadline. I like to have fun and relationships don’t generally scare me, but I’m not a good sharer. I think the perfect marriage is one that involves two of everything, including apartments. As mentioned in a previous post, I have freaky baby toe nails and am in the middle of perimenopause. I am more familiar with a hot flash than a hot date. Can I put that on a dating profile? Despite these limitations, my standards are very high. Any potential date must have his own teeth, or at least the majority of them, must be able to read without moving his lips, should be able to feign interest in what I do for a living and most importantly must be able to distinguish between a Wii, an Xbox and a PS2 without a manual. A girl has to have standards. ;) So there it is.
It isn’t as pretty as the picture my wonderful project manager paints, but it is me. And despite these ‘limitations’, or perhaps because of them, I kind of like me. So, am I fit to start Step Three? You bet. Is there a man out there who might find this attractive? That remains to be seen. Stay tuned for Step Three…Anyone have any good stretching exercises? ;)