Brain Children

Today was a very non-productive day. I should be reading for my comprehensive exam, but, as you can see, I am not. I’m not sure what it is with me. It seems that once there is an end in sight, I start to avoid finishing. Perhaps it is fear of what comes next. Maybe it’s simply that I’ve run out of steam. I’m not sure. It doesn’t help that my books keep getting recalled. I have three books left to read and seven and a half annotations left to write. I am determined that I will finish these tasks by the end of the month. I was equally determined last month.

I am easily overwhelmed. Perhaps this is one of the down sides of my chaotic nature. I find it hard to prioritize all of the tasks, responsibilities and pleasures. I feel like a teacher in a classroom of five year olds, all clamouring about seeking my undivided attention. Even when I am able to decide which five year old most needs my attention, I am ever aware of the 20 other children voicing their disappointment, displeasure and disapproval. They just won’t shut up, damnit!

I don’t mean to complain. I know lots of people who have far more tasks to deal with than I do. I just wish one of them would take the time to write a book telling me where the mute switch is on all these noisy children. Today, for instance, I woke up early and decided that rather than go back to sleep, I would read one of my books. I got about five pages read before I realized that I had no idea what the last 3 pages had been about. I realized that I had spent the last three pages reading while also trying to itemize what I needed to get done, what were my biggest priorities, and what could get pushed aside. Not only did I not get the reading done, I also did not decide on how to prioritize all of the other brain children.

So, tonight I decided to take the night off. I have a new plan. Tomorrow morning, I am going to line up all those demanding little brats…um….children. Then, I am going to schedule them all into various time slots and hope that this strategy will shut them up for awhile. I’ll keep you posted. And if anyone has any misplaced children, please feel free to take one of my 20.