What's in a name?

Choosing a blog name is kind of like choosing a name for your child. You want the name to be memorable, unique and not become an ongoing source of teasing. You also want it to be a name that ‘fits’ but that allows for growth along the way. For instance, Ittybittycuteywittlebunny, might just reflect how you feel about the new addition to your family, but when Ittybittycuteywittlebunny turns sixteen, trust me, he will not thank you for the name.

So, given that it took quite some time to come up with “Out of the Chaos, I Rise,” I thought perhaps I should take you along on my naming journey. Perhaps it will give you a little more insight into my life, the way my brain works and my reasons for starting this blog (besides the ones already noted in the by now famous inaugural posting).

Neitsche once penned the phrase “One must have chaos within one to give birth to a dancing star.” These words have provided me with much comfort and inspiration. I am not sure what his intention was when he wrote these words, but for me, they have helped me to embrace the chaos that is within me, as a productive source of creativity. And so, I hope you will understand the words “Out of the Chaos, I Rise,” as having two meanings.

First, it is out of the chaos that is within me that I make sense of myself and the world around me. I have been told many times that I think too much. That I ‘over-think’ things, and I suppose this is true. But, I attribute this to the chaos that is within me. Even when I try to stop thinking and over-thinking, the chaos reigns. It is give in or give out. I choose to give in. I figure the chaos is there for a reason. Taming the chaos may be an option, but it seems sad to tame anything that powerful.

The second meaning is far less profound. Quite frankly, when I look around me, I see chaos. Take for instance the items on my ‘desk’ (which is actually a tacky TV tray that allows me to watch TV, play video games and play Scrabulous with friends and family, all while I work). Right now, along with my beloved laptop (whose name is Karma, by the way), are my house keys, a half-eaten bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs, a package of Christmas ornament hooks, a coupon for Old Navy, my cell phone, a purple ribbon that I have forgotten to wear, a broken pen, scissors, a stapler, my second favourite ring and 43 cents. Don’t even get me started on what’s on my REAL desk! Anyway, mostly I don’t mind the chaos, although some days it gets to be too much, even for my chaotic soul and I rush around in a state of frenzy and cast my “let there be order” wand in all directions. I love the feeling of an ordered and organized house. Maybe I love it so much because it is such a rarity. In any case, the order usually lasts about a day and a half. If I’m lucky.

So, while I embrace the inner chaos, I still struggle to tame the chaos that vomits itself into every corner of my home. So there it is. My naked reality. Okay, maybe it’s a little early to get naked, but what’s a little nudity between friends? ;)