Words

I should be working, but it is the day of the eve of Christmas Eve, so that seems like a good excuse to take a bit of a break. Yesterday, my friend S and I trekked out to Surrey to help my son shop for Christmas at his house. It is his first year hosting the event, so we decided to help out with the shopping (and the paying) so as not to be left wondering why there were no potatoes to go with the turkey. If I had to come up with one word to describe the day it would be sloggy. Yup, that’s right. Sloggy.

I want to begin by saying that I have every right to use such a word. As a sociologist, it is my duty, in fact, to use it. For those of you who aren’t familiar with what it means to be a sociologist, let me refer you to Rule 3 in the sociologist guide book:

“When a word does not exist that fully encompasses what it is you need to express, create a new one.”

When I heard the word “neo-logism” I fell madly and deeply in love. Birthing new words is almost as exciting as birthing babies, only there is virtually no pain involved. It is a deeply creative and loving process, combined of course with a good deal of silliness and whimsy. Can you get any better than that? I didn’t think so.

So, back to Sloggy. Let me set the scene. S and I arrived by skytrain to Surrey. It was quite apparent that it had been snowing for some time, but the big beautiful flakes of falling snow had turned to a grey, drizzling rain and the fluffy white stuff had turned to grey mushy pudding of various depths and consistencies. In some places it was frozen solid and in others, it was a mushy, slippery mess. Put the two together and walking became treacherous and uncomfortable.

By the time we had inched our way slowly to my son’s home, (only a block and a half away from the bus stop) the bottom 8 inches of my pants were wet, my socks soaked through and my feet squished about in my shoes making the most dreadful slorking sound. My toes were cold, and I declared to anyone that would listen that my feet were disgustingly sloggy. Yup, that’s right, not only were my feet soggy, but they were also slushy inside my shoes. Ick!

Yes, I could probably have just said “The slush has made my feet cold and soggy.” That would have probably required less explanation and fewer funny looks. But, I so enjoy the funny looks, and I assure you that once you have hopped from icy sidewalks into shin deep slush followed by ankle deep puddles, you too will agree that there is no other word that quite describes the feeling. Feel free to add it to your own personal dictionaries, as I do love to share.

Oh, and for those of you who are curious about what other secrets exist in the sociologist guide book, stay tuned! For those of you who simply can’t wait, here are a few of the rules, picked at random, for your voyeuristic pleasure.

Rule 5: Never say exactly what you mean the first time. The secret to being a great sociologist is to make people read between the lines. If you can bracket out part of a word, even better. Never say removed, when you can say (re)moved, for instance. Not only does it allow for multiple interpretations (to take away, to move again, to move AND remove, to move OR remove…. the list goes on), but it also allows you to claim misinterpretation if someone critiques your theory in ways that are otherwise impossible to defend.

Rule 9: Never go to movies, plays or concerts with non-sociologist friends unless you provide them with the appropriate disclaimer that every racialized, gendered, sexualized, able-ist, class-ist (or any other ‘ist’ you can think of) theme will be analyzed, unpacked and critiqued. This does not mean that we did not enjoy the entertainment, it just allows us to enjoy it for a longer period of time and in a way that is slightly masochistic. Let’s just call it the S&M enjoyment of mainstream entertainment.

Rule 291: (yes, it is a very long manual). If someone asks you what exactly sociology is, it is unacceptable to tell them that you have no idea. However, if you really have no idea, it is acceptable to refer them to a higher authority, “as they can explain it much more eloquently.” If you are unsure if your ‘higher authority’ knows, just make sure they read the guidebook before you refer anyone else to them.

So, there you have it. A sneak peak inside both my personal and my professional world. Or should I say my perfessional…profersonal world? Boy, I love words!